Right as the blender stops he hears his doorbell ring and runs over to open it. Opening the door he smiles at his little girl saying “hey Jema” as he picks her up.
She responds “daddy” with an adorable smile on her face.
He gives her a kiss on the cheek, as he holds her in his arms, looks at her older brother and says “hey champ” as he rubs his head.
The kid tries to dodge the head pat and just says “hey dad” as he squeezes by him inside.
Jon turns around, puts Jema down and turns back saying “hey Helen how are things? Would you like to come in for some coffee? Maybe a smoothie? I still make ‘em every morning just like you like.”
Helen responds, “no thank you, I already ate and I have somethings to prepare for.”-
“What kind of things?” Jon interrupts to ask.
“Just a New Years party of sorts. Anyway, I will be here around nine to pick the kids up” Helen answers.
“Nine that doesn’t give us anytime for fireworks and stuff, c’mon, lemme keep ‘em overnight” Jon pleads.
Helen responds “I told you last month this year was gonna be a little different. I’m sorry, but I promise tomorrow I will bring them back and you can have them for the whole weekend.”
Jon replies “ok, well how about this, I can bring them to whatever New Years shin dig you got going on, and back with me afterwards, that way we can spend some quality time together too, huh? Huh?”
Hellen says “no Jon I’m sorry that doesn’t work for me, this is a kind of small event with George and his family.”
Jon rolls his eyes “oh, George, you still with that jack ass?”
“Oh Jon, don’t be like that, he’s a really great guy, he loves the kids, and he loves me” Helen responds.
“Ya, well you know I love you too, when are we gonna spend some time together huh?” It’s been so long” Jon asks flirtatiously
Helen shuts it down “oh Jon don’t do this”.
“Do what?” Jon asks, in a slightly annoyed tone.
“You know what! We’ve been divorced now for five years, and you know it’s better, for the both of us” Helen insisted.
Jon shot back, more annoyed “no Helen I don’t know that. We were happy, remember?”
“Yes Jon, I remember we WERE happy, until we weren't" Helen said.
Jon smiled, trying to be calm again “ya but we can be happy again” as he reaches his hand out and rubs her elbow, attempting to pull her in for a hug.
Helen pulls away, saying “no Jon, I’m sorry but you really need to learn to move on. Now I gotta go, I’ll be back at nine to get the kids” as she walks away.
Jon hollers to her “no wait Helen, I’m sorry, just come back, we can talk more, Helen! Helen!”
As Jon stands at the door, hoping she will turn back, he feels a tug on his shorts, as Jema says “daddy, daddy, when are we gonna make lanterns?”
He peers down at the smiling face of his little girl. And, after a moment smiles himself as he picks her up and says “ok, so you wanna make lanterns huh?”
Jema screams “YEA” as she throws her arms in the air.
“Ok well let's go get your brother” Jon says to her, before looking forward and calling “Chase, Chase come on Chase we’re making lanterns.”
Chase responds “it’s the symbol for 303, you know? The band?”
“Oh no, I don’t think I’m familiar with them, you like ‘em though huh?” Jon replies.
“Ya, they’re the best. George took me to go see ‘em for my birthday. It was epic” Chase responds, without looking at his dad, just focusing on the painting.
Jon mumbles to himself “ugh George” as he rolls his eyes over to his daughter, painting people on her lantern. He then smiles and asks “what about you Jema? Who’s that?” As he points to her lantern.
Jema responds while pointing to each person “that’s me, that’s Chase, that’s you, that’s mommy, and that’s George, like we’re all one family see?” With a smile, she looks over at her father.
Jon, seemingly oblivious to the point, just rolls his eyes again saying “oh, ya George, you guys really like this George guy huh?”
Jema nods as she paints more, and smiles saying “ya, he’s really nice, he buys me ice cream, and always lets me get extra sprinkles.”
“Oh that’s nice, does he do anything else?” Jon asks.
“Like what?” Jema wonders
“Oh, I don’t know, like anything not so”-
Chase interrupts his father “dad stop, he doesn’t do anything bad, he’s a good guy, he’s a lot like you actually”.
At this moment Jema accidentally reveals something “ya, and after tonight he’ll be our daddy too, and then I’ll have two daddy’s, how lucky am I?”” Chase waves at her, making a cut it out motion with his hands, but it is too late.
Jon then asks “what do you mean after tonight?”
Jema, too focused on the painting to see Chase waving at her, answers “mommy and him are getting married at the park tonight, right at midnight. Mommy says it’s a New Years wedding, which she thinks is very romantic. Anyway after that he’ll be our step daddy, won’t that be great?” Chase face palms as he leans back in his chair and Jon just nods, reeling and grieving in his mind.
The rest of the day Jon is not very attentive, stuck in his own thoughts. Just sitting in the kitchen, wallowing, as he listens to Jema in the living room laughing as she calls to him “daddy come watch with us.” When he finally does join them he sees Jema laughing, as Chase just plays a game on his phone. Before he can even sit down between them he hears the doorbell ring, looks up at the clock with the big hand on the twelve and the little hand on the nine. As Jema gets up and runs to the door screaming “mommy” Chase gets up and shuffles behind her, as Jon reluctantly follows. Mostly silent at the door, Jema tells their mother “mommy mommy I made two lanterns”, as she picks one up, continuing “do you like it? Do you?”
Helen laughs and says “wow two lanterns, it’s beautiful.”
As Jon just stands there not saying a word, still reeling. Before remembering “WAIT! You forgot your other lantern, Jema, it’s in the kitchen, I’ll go get it for you.”
Jema says “no that one’s for you daddy, to remember our new family. I love you daddy, happy New Year” as she hugs him.
Jon hugs her back, squeezing, almost crying. Whispering “Happy New year sweetie! Happy New Year!”
He then turns to hug Chase, who gives him a side hug saying “Happy New Year dad”.
As they all walk out the door with their mom. Helen turns and waves, saying "Happy New Year Jon, see you tomorrow” with a smile.
Jon reads too much into this as he smiles waves and mutters to himself “YES! I can still get her back” as he runs back in the house.
In his room , he ruffles through his closet trying to find his nicest suit. He then combs his hair in the bathroom mirror, puts his hand near his mouth and blows, making a disgusted face, he picks up the Listerine right next to him gargles a few times, spits it out in the sink. Straightens his bow tie in the mirror one last time before rushing out, grabbing his keys off his dresser without stopping, running to the garage. In the car he practices what to say as he drives, “I love you Helen, I always have, I always will, there’s no one else for me, I know I wasn’t always the best husband or father, but if you give me another chance I swear this time it’ll’ be different, I’ll be different, This time I’ll be the best, better than the best. Please Helen, you are the love of my life, the mother of my children, please be my wife again.” As he rehearses he imagines swooning Helen into his arms. He almost hears her say “oh Jon yes of course, I never loved this George guy”.
He pulls into the parking lot too fast, bumping into a car, as he puts his in park and gets out, seeing the front bumper of his Honda touching the rear of a Cadillac limo saying to himself “oh sorry George, not really” as he smirks, laughs and runs to the park. He makes it before the ceremony begins. Sneaking around the reception tent in the back. He sees a table with crystal glasses full of champagne and makes a beeline for it, saying to himself “liquid courage, ya”. He sits at the table chugging glass after glass, until the piano begins playing. He looks up and sees George walk onto the main stage under an arch of white oak and Christmas lights. He smirks whispering “sorry George, she’s mine” as he sees Helen walking up the aisle, looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen her, he stands, clears his throat, straightens his shirt, as he nervously watches her approach the arch.
When she reaches the arch, the old priest behind announces “dearly beloved, we a gathered here today to celebrate the holy matrimony of Helen and”-
Jon interrupts yelling “JON!” as the crowd gasps, and looks back at him as he stumbles up the aisle.
He also waves at Chase, who has his face buried in his hands mumbling “oh no, dad.”
He keeps stumbling up the aisle saying sarcastically “hey sorry George you don’t mind if I cut in do you?” As he laughs again then looks at Helen and says “Helen, take me back, I know, I know, we’ve had our problems, but we can be happy again, just give me another chance and you’ll see, I’ll be the best husband, better than the best, please, you’re the love of my life, and I'm the love of yours, we are each other destiny, please marry me again, not this George guy. Huh? What do you say?”
As he holds out his hand, smiling, Helen face palms and says “oh Jon, I can’t believe you would do this, I mean I figured you’d do something, that’s why I didn’t tell you, but this Jon, really?”
Jon, still smiling obliviously says “I do it cause I love you, so what do you say?”
“What do I say?” Helen asks with an irritated laugh while face palming with both hands as she paces slightly, yelling again “WHAT DO I SAY? NO JON! NO! I mean did you actually think this would work? Crashing my wedding? Getting drunk on our champagne and making a fool of yourself in front of everyone including me and your kids Jon? This! This is why I didn’t tell you.”
Jon’s smile finally begins to fade to a frown as he says “you didn’t want to tell me? I thought it was George who didn’t want me here.”
Helen, still pacing, with an irritated laugh says “WHAT? No, George actually thought we should invite you but I knew you’d do something like this, I just never could’ve imagined it would be quite like this, congrats Jon, you’ve out done yourself. You can’t move on and refuse to let me, so you ruin my wedding”
At this George holds Helen’s shoulders and says “shh, it’s ok, the wedding isn’t ruined.”
Helen screams “YES IT IS” as she falls into George’s arms and cries.
Jon steps forward and says “Hellen I’m sorry, I just thought” as he reaches out to touch her elbow.
She snaps “NO JON DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME, JUST GET OUT OF HERE” as she pulls back, but then jumps forward slapping his arm and pushing him away.
George gets in front of her and Jon as he puts his hands on Jon’s shoulders and says “hey man I know this is rough for you, but I really think you should just go right now ok?”
Jon says “No, George not ok, don’t tell me what to do, and let me talk to my wife”.
“Man you’re drunk, I get it, but I don’t think she wants to talk to you right now, ok so why don’t you just go home, sleep it off and maybe you two can talk tomorrow, ok? Come on man, let’s get you to your car.”
Jon says “No George, how about you go to your car, and let me talk to my wife” as he looks at Helen and continues “Helen I”-
Helen interrupts him screaming “NO JON, I AM NOT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE, AND YOU NEED TO GO, HAVEN’T YOU EMBARRASSED YOURSELF, ME, AND OUR KIDS ENOUGH?”
Jon finally looks back at his kids, seeing Jema crying as Chase holds her, a look of shame comes over his face as he sees the disappointment in Chase's eyes, as he says "ya, ok I’m sorry” as he stumbles back through the aisle.
Making it to his car, getting in and starting it, before realizing he is too drunk to drive. He turns off his car, looks over at the passenger seat and sees the lantern that Jema made. He reaches for it and a candle as he gets out of his car and walks towards the sound of ocean waves. On the beach, he stands as the tide soaks his feet. He lights the candle, puts it in the lantern, and lets it float in the air. Instead it falls into the saltwater. Jon screams “NO” as he picks it up and throws it again and again, until finally crushing it and falling to his knees crying in the sand as saltwater flows into his nose, and the ripped up lantern drifts out to sea.
Jon awakes to once again only hearing “And I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not lose, now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes, and I’m split in half but that’ll”- as he slams it off, confused thinking same song two days in a row damn, before he notices the date on the alarm read December 31.
Shocked, he rubs his eyes and looks closer at the alarm, still reading December 31. He closes his eyes, pinches himself, and grabs the alarm to look even closer, still seeing December 31. He wonders what the hell, the clock must be broken he thinks as he walks downstairs to the kitchen thinking I forgot to clean the blender last night gonna have to- As he enters the kitchen and sees the blender, perfectly clean, thinking huh I guess I wasn’t too drunk to clean it. How’d I get home? He shrugs as he begins making his breakfast smoothie, when all of the sudden he hears the doorbell, yells “coming” as he walks to the front door and opens it. Seeing Helen and his kids, Jema says “daddy” as she hugs him, too confused to hug her back right away, he just stands there as Chase enters saying “hey dad.” Jon looks at him and just waves, as he thinks, why do they all look the same? He then says “Helen, I’m sorry about last night, thanks for still letting me have the kids for the weekend.”
Helen looks puzzled as she wonders “last night? What are you talking about Jon? I haven't seen you since last week.”
Jon begins to reel. Thinking, what? Was that a dream? Or is this the dream? Or am I in Groundhog Day?
As Jon stands there, silently wondering, Helen says “ok well, I’ll see you at nine to pick up the kids, have a good time.”
Jon says “wait nine that was, oh ya, no, it’s New Years Eve, you have an event.”
Helen nods, confused “ya Jon like we talked about last”-
“Like we talked about last month, this year’ll be different right? Right, see you at nine, as he smiles, closes the door, picks up Jema and says “ok now who wants to make lanterns?”
Jema screams “YEA” as she holds her arms in the air.
At the table Jon paints the Chinese symbol for love and a picture of him and Helen on a lantern. All the while thinking ok, this time, this time I’ll definitely get her back, no drinking, no scene, just genuine romantic gestures, ya, ya that’ll work. He looks over at Chase and says “oh 303 huh? You know I heard they were in town for your birthday, did you get to see them?”
Chase is stunned, stops painting, looks up at his dad and says “ah, ya, George took me. Wait, you like 303?”
Jon nods and says “oh ya they’re the best, don’t you think?”
Chase nods still surprised as he says “ya, they are, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you liked them, otherwise I would have invited you to come with us.”
Jon smiles as he waves at Chase saying “oh, no” while thinking, ha, take that George! He then turns to Jema and points at one of the figures she’s drawing and says “is that me?”
Jema nods and says “ya, you can tell? Is it really that good?”
Jon says :”Absolutely, totally on point” as they both laugh, as Chase looks on in confusion, mumbling to himself “what the hell?”
After they make lanterns, Jon sits with his kids in the living room. As Jema laughs and Chase plays on his phone, Jon laughs along with his daughter, though not really focusing on the show or time together, his eyes are almost constantly on the clock, until the big hand reaches the twelve and the little hand the eight, then he stands up and says “ok, get your stuff, time to go.”
Chase looks up from his phone saying “what?”
Jema says “ya, mommy won’t be here for an hour.”
“No, your mother wanted me to take you to the park a little early,” Jon replies.
“Oh really? Ok” Jema says as she gets up and runs to get her pack.
Chase, looking skeptical, asks “dad, what are you doing?”
Jon replies “I’m just being a good father and husband.”
“Ex-husband” Chase reminds him.
“Ya, right, sure, whatever, now go get your stuff” Jon replies, as Chase reluctantly gets up and walks to the door. Jon pulls in, and walks the kids to the park, where people are setting up tables and tents, and the white oak arch. Helen stands in the tent directing people around. When Jema sees her she screams “MOMMY” and runs to her.
Helen looks over surprised and concerned, as she smiles, leans over and hugs Jema saying “hey baby, what are you doing here?” Chase looks over at his dad shaking his head.
Jon ignores this as he approaches Helen, smiles and says “surprise!”
Helen is irritated, laughing nervously saying “Jon, what are you doing? How’d you even know I was here?”
“Well I, um knew you had an event, figured the park most likely spot, you always loved it here, and I wanted to surprise you, and give you a New Years gift” Jon answers with a smile as he hands Helen the lantern he made “see that’s us getting married” he says pointing at the picture, “and that means love” pointing to the Chinese symbol.
Jema sees George and runs to him screaming “GEORGE” as she jumps into his arms.
George pickles her up, smiling, kisses her cheek and says with a smile “Jema, what are you doing here?”
Jema answers “daddy wanted to surprise you and mommy” as she points at Jon.
George walks over holding Jema saying “wow, well what a surprise, how you doin Jon?” as he holds out his hand.
Jon just rolls his eyes, mumbling “George”.
Helen asks “George, would you take the kids for a moment, let me talk to Jon?” George smiles and nods as he walks off.
Jon, smiles like he has succeeded, until Helen pulls him over and says “Jon, I told you I would pick them up why”-
Jon interrupts her “ya I know but this way you don’t have to, see I can be a good husband and”-
“EX, Jon, ex husband, you have probably already noticed this is a wedding and I’m marrying George.” Helen interrupts.
Jon says “ya, but you don’t have to, it’s not too late for us.”
Helen laughs nervously, saying “I know I don’t HAVE to, I WANT to, and yes Jon it is too late for us, I’m sorry, now look if you can really accept that, you can stay, lord knows we could use the help setting up, but if you can’t, then you need to leave.”
Jon looks heartbroken all over again as he says “no, Helen, it’s not too late, it’s never too late, give me another chance, as you see I can be responsible.”
“RESPONSIBLE?” Helen laughs, “You think this is responsible? Constantly crossing boundaries?”
Jon wonders “boundaries? You’re my wife, I”-
Helen interrupts “NO! Jon I’m not your wife anymore, I’m George’s wife now”-
Jon snickers “not yet”-
Helen has had enough as she says “ok, Jon, I’m sorry, but you need to go now.”
Jon, oblivious to Helen’s distress, grabs her hand and says “no Helen, I’m sorry, I just thought you still loved me, I didn’t know you hated me.”
Helen says, almost in tears “oh Jon, no, I don’t hate you, and a part of me will always love you, we’re just not”- Jon, in a masterclass move of missing the point and miss reading the situation, leans in for a kiss, as he closes his eyes, Helen leans back and slaps him, yelling “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING JON?” as everyone looks over at the exes. Jon stands there, still oblivious. As Helen says “ok, Jon, now you really need to go, you’ve made enough of a scene”.
Jon responds “at least I didn’t get drunk and ruin your wedding” as if a need to defend his indefensible actions.
Helen looks mortified ‘WHAT? Jon why would you even say that? Is that like a threat?”
Jon waves his hands in front of himself saying “no ,no, I’m just saying it could a been worse”.
Helen shakes her head just saying “ok Jon, whatever, just go please.” Seeing her about to cry Jon walks off as he grabs a bottle of champagne.
On his computer Jon looks up some stuff. He pays for a report and reads it as he thinks and mutters to himself “oh George really? I knew you were trash, wait til Helen finds out about this” as he smiles maliciously, and rubs his hands like a cartoon supervillain. He hears his doorbell ring and rushes downstairs.
Opening the door Jema says “daddy” as she hugs his legs.
He pats her head and says “hey sweetie, now go inside I need to talk to your mom for a second.” Jema runs inside followed by a confused, concerned and hesitant Chase. Jon looks back, seeing the kids are away, and says “look Helen I know you are marrying George tonight, and I have to tell you he’s”-
Helen interrupts “WHAT? How do you know that? I didn’t”-
“I know you didn’t want me to know, and I get that, but this isn’t about me, I just need to tell you what a terrible mistake you’re making, George is a”-
Helen interrupts again, rolling her eyes “oh Jon, I see what this is, somehow you found out about the wedding and are upset that I didn’t tell you and now are trying to get some sort of revenge.”
“NO, Helen, he’s a car thief” Jon interjects.
“WHAT?” Helen asks with a laugh.
Jon nods and says “ya, I did some digging and when he was fifteen he stole a car, went joy riding or something, wrecked it. Can you believe it? He didn’t even have a license.”
Helen, still laughing, says “ya Jon I can believe it because he told me”.
Jon deflates as he says “you knew? You knew? And you still let this monster around our kids and want to marry him?”
Helen laughs harder “ok Jon monster really? He was fifteen, went to juvie for a few months, worked off the damages. I mean do you really wanna play this game of holding dumb teenage mistakes against someone. I seem to remember a few less than smart decisions you made as a teenager, should we discuss those?”
Jon slumps his head saying “that’s not the point, I just can’t believe you’d let a car thief around our kids.”
“Should I not let you around our kids?” Helen asks as Jon slumps his head lower and Helen continues “look Jon we all make mistakes as teenagers, we do dumb shit, lord knows I have, if that really is the bar for not letting someone around your kids than I don’t think there is a person in this world we could trust around them. So why don’t you stop acting like this is about our kids' safety and just admit that you are having a hard time dealing with this, then maybe, just maybe you can start to move on.”
“But Helen I don’t want to move on, I just”-
Helen interrupts “then you are going to keep making those same dumb mistakes. Now I gotta go, I’ll be back here at nine to pick up the kids.”
Jon yells “no Helen”-
She looks back as she continues to walk away and says “I’m sorry Jon, I hope you can find a way to move on with the rest of us”.
Jon almost starts crying before he feels his daughter pulling his shorts saying “daddy, daddy, when are we gonna make lanterns?”
Jon wipes his eyes, sniffles and says sadly “ya, ok, let’s go make some lanterns. As he puts his hand on Jema’s shoulder and walks her to the kitchen.
Jon begins reeling, nearly broken as a person. He sits, just brushing the paper lantern with a pain brush, as his kids sit beside him painting the things they love with enthusiasm, they laugh, as Jon just wallows. Watching TV in the living room is the same, just wallowing as his kids laugh and play, until nine. He doesn’t even walk them to the door just says “bye guys happy New Year” as he wallows even more. He considers going to the wedding again, crashing, another grand gesture perhaps? Nah, he thinks, as he pulls into the bar by the park. Inside he takes shots of vodka, as he shoots darts, missing the board each time. After losing countless times. Missing a Taylor Swift song, but hearing the last one of the night, Closing Time by SemiSonic, he hears “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” and thinks, beach? Ya, beach, as he walks to it and tries to fly the lantern again and again, it falls, as he punches it falling himself, face in the sand, tears blending with seawater, he passes out and wakes up to “and I’m split in half, but that’ll”- As he punches his alarm off and thinks here we go again.
And again he goes, wallowing still, this time at the door, no smile, just nods. At the table painting lanterns, no smile, just nods. In the living room, watching TV, kids laughing, Jon just nodding. Helen picks up kids, Jon goes to bar, takes shots, throws darts. Heads to the beach, watches lantern fall, and float away. Only to hear it again “and I’m split in half but”-
Downstairs he dumps a bowl of berries in a blender, then stops, staring at the photos on the fridge, New Years Photos, Christmas Photos of his old family making snowmen in a white field, Photos of Jema and Chase blowing out candles on a cake. He holds himself up on the counter as he almost falls, as his eyes water and he whimpers and whines. He then hears the doorbell, sniffles and slaps himself in the face to regain composure as he slowly shuffles to the door. Opening the door, he forces half his face to smile as Jema screams “DADDY” and hugs him.
This almost breaks him as he pushes more of a smile, kisses Jema’s head and says, “Happy New Year sweetie, I love you.” Chase slips by as Jon side hugs him and says “Happy New Year champ, I love you.
Chase looks surprised, hugs his dad back and says, “I love you too dad, Happy New Year.”
A surprised but happy Helen says “Happy New Year Jon, I’ll be here at”-
Jon interrupts “at nine to get the kids, I’ll have ‘em ready, enjoy your day, and Happy New year Helen” with a sad forced smile.
Helen says “thanks Jon” with a smile as she heads off.
Jon turns to his kids, sniffles a little more, forces a larger smile and says “ok, now who wants to make lanterns?” as he raises his hand.
Jema raises both hands and says “YEA LANTERNS!” As Chase just smiles and Jon pats his head, as they walk to the kitchen.
In the kitchen Jema paints her whole new family, Chase paints the 303 symbol, and Jon paints random lines, too distracted by his own contemplation of his own inability to move on to really focus. After that they head into the living room to watch some TV. Jon, still contemplating as Jema laughs, as she tugs on Jon’s shirt and says “daddy, do you get it? Isn’t it funny?”
Jon forces a laugh as he says “ya sweety, it’s hilarious.” Chase laughs as he plays on his phone and Jon looks over and smiles at him. At Nine the doorbell rings and Jema jumps up and runs to the door screaming “MOMMY!” As Jon and Chase shuffle behind her. Jon hugs his kids goodbye, waves to them all as they leave saying “happy New Year!”
Now alone, Jon’s mind begins reeling in deep depressed contemplation “what is wrong with me? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?” he wonders aloud and alone, as he pours a shot of vodka. Having the glass near his lips he notices a card for his old therapist. He drops the glass, walks over, picks up the card, stares at it for a long moment before picking up the phone and dialing the number.
“Hello Doctor Fitz, who’s calling please?”
“Hey, ah, hey Doc, this is Jon, do you remember”-
“Ah, yes Jon, it has been awhile, how are things?” Doctor Fitz answers.
Jon replies “Things are ok just. Oh no who am I kidding, things are shitty, I can’t move on, some George guy is marrying my wife, ex wife, and I think my kids prefer him, and the worst part is I can’t even really blame them. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me? What happened with Helen? Why her and George’s relationship is so perfect? I”-
Doctor Fitz interrupts “WHOA, WHOA, ok Jon, let’s take this one at a time, why do you think your kids prefer this George?”
“Well they’re just always so much more excited to see him then me and I get it I just don’t like it” Jon replies.
“Well Jon they are kids, and you know kids get really excited by new things, I don’t think they like him more, it seems more likely they are just excited about this new relationship because it is new. Give it a little while, and they’ll see you and George the same” Doctor Fitz says.
Jon smiles and says “ya I guess that does make sense” feeling a little better, before he frowns and says “but that doesn’t explain Helen and how she and George are so perfect, like they have the perfect relationship. I thought we had the perfect relationship not too long ago, but then something, I don’t even know something just happened. What did I do? What”-
Doctor Fitz interrupts again saying “Jon you know no relationship is perfect, they all require work and sometimes people just grow apart, and become unwilling and unable to do that work, and that’s ok. I mean don’t get me wrong, it is devastating, but that devastation doesn’t have to be everlasting, and it isn’t always anyone’s fault.”
Jon nods saying “ya, I guess you’re right, ya we just grew apart and I was unable and unwilling to do the work to keep us together, which made us grow apart even more. I guess I need to acknowledge that.”
Doctor Fitz says “YES, Jon, you’re making progress, you”-
Suddenly Jon’s mindset shifts as he seems to miss the point once again and says “ya, so what you’re saying is if I acknowledge that then she’ll see, that I have made progress, like you said and then, I can show her George is no better than me, and then, well maybe we won’t get back together but maybe that door could stay open so to speak, ya.”
Doctor Fitz exhales sharply and says “swing and a miss. Ok Jon I need you to listen to me very carefully”-
Jon interrupts “no, no, I got it, I know what you’re saying, thanks Doc.”
Doctor Fitz yells “no Jon, that’s not”- But the line is dead and Doctor fitz continues “god damnit.”
Jon drives to the park. Thinking about how to acknowledge his own mistakes and expose George as no better. Another part of mind begins wondering if this is a good idea. Before it begins confirming it is not. But the part of mind telling him to do it seems to scream louder, as he pulls into the parking lot by the park. He sits in his car, still debating if this is a good idea, when he sees George outside getting something from his car. Jon gets out of his car and yells “GEORGE! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY FAMILY? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO REPLACE ME?”
George looks over, waves his hands in front of himself saying “whoa, whoa, Jon calm down, I’m not trying to replace you, and I know I couldn’t even if I wanted to, I just, I love Helen, and I love the kids, and I want to be a part of their lives, but I don’t want you out of it. Nobody wants that.”
Jon stops, his anger fading to sadness as he breaks down, crying “THEN WHY DO THEY PREFER YOU?” Before George can say anything Jon continues “oh, I know why, because you’re such a good guy, much better than me, how can I even blame them? Shit! I’d prefer you.” Jon can not hold back anymore tears and begins bawling his eyes out.
George, stands there for a moment before approaching Jon, putting his hand on his shoulder and saying “you’re a good guy too Jon.”
Jon replies “oh, ya thanks, but I know I’m shit, I”-
George interrupts “NO, Jon I know that isn’t true, because I have met your kids remember? Anyone who can have kids that great, that love him that much, has to be a good guy.”
Jon shakes his head as he says “no, I’m shit”-
George interrupts again saying “NO Jon, you’re going through shit, but you are not. Believe me I know what it’s like. My divorce years ago was rough, I reacted poorly. I probably reacted worse than you”-
Jon interrupts “oh I doubt it” with a slight laugh.
George laughs as he continues “ya well look I don't know, but I drank, I smoked, listened to stick season on repeat, I”-
Jon interrupts again, looking up at George, asking “stick season? By Noah Kahan?”
George nods saying “ya, you know it?’
Jon exhales, smiles and laughs a little as he nods saying “oh ya.”
George says “ya, Noah Kahan got me through some dark times. I think he could help you too, next time you hear stick season, listen to it, I mean really listen.”
Jon nods and says “ok, maybe I will.”
George says “you definitely should, and you know I think he’s coming to town next month, we should go see him.”
Jon smiles and says “ya, that’d be fun.”
George smiles and says “well hey man I should get back, are you gonna be ok?”
Jon responds, no longer crying and finally genuinely smiling says “ya man, I think I’ll be alright, thanks.”
George smiles, pats Jon on the shoulder saying “good I’m glad. Good talkin to you Jon, see you later” as he walks back to the park.
Jon waves and says “ya good talk George, thanks.” He then walks to the beach, as he lights a candle and releases his daughter's lantern, as it falls into the sea once again. Jon almost gets upset again, as he swings towards it, but this time he stops, falls to his knees and cries all he has to cry.
The next morning Jon awakes in his bed, hearing that very familiar song. But this time he listens, he really listens and hears the whole thing “and it’s half my fault but I just like to play the victim, I’ll drink alcohol til my friends come home for Christmas, and I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not lose, now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes and I’m split in half but”- Jon goes to hit his alarm but stops right above the button, and he finally hears the final line “but that’ll have to do, have to do”. Jon lies in his bed, as that final lyric replays in his mind, he smiles and says to himself “I’m split in half but that’ll have to do” and repeats “that’ll have to do” as he hops out of bed, takes a shower, gets dressed, and walks downstairs to the kitchen. He takes the bowl of berries from the fridge and just starts eating them as he walks to the front door and opens it right as Helen is about to ring the doorbell. He smiles and screams “JEMA!”
As he leans over Jema runs right into his arms screaming “DADDY!”
Jon stands up holding Jema with one arm as he wraps the other around Chase saying “good to see you champ.”
Chase smiles and says “you too dad” as he walks inside.
Jon then turns, nods, smiles and says “Helen. How are you?”
Helen is taken back by this, as she smiles and says “I am good Jon. How about you?”
Jon smiles and says “I’m, I’m getting there.”
Helen says “glad to hear it Jon. Ok so I’ll”-
Jon interrupts “nine, I know, they’ll be ready, now you should go, got a big party to set up for, and we” he looks at Jema, "we have some lanterns to make.”
Jema screams “YEA LANTERNS!” as she throws both her hands in the air.
Jon repeats screaming “YEA LANTERNS!” then nods at Helen, smiling saying see you later, oh and tell George I said Happy New Year” Helen’s face is in shock as Jon closes the door.
At the kitchen table Jon paints sticks on his lantern, as well as an ax, a man separated in two, and the words that’ll have to do. He then looks over at Chase and says “303 huh?”
Chase turns to him and says surprised “ya, you like 303?”
“I don’t know too much about them, but maybe I could take you to a show sometime, would you like that?”
Chase sits silently for a moment before smiling and saying “ya dad, I’d like that a lot.”
Jon smiles as he turns to Jema and points at the people on her lantern and says “let me guess, that’s you, that’s Chase, That’s me, that’s mommy, and that’s George. Like one big happy family?”
Jema’s face lights up as she says “YA! Do you like it?”
Jon exhales, laughs and says “I love it sweetie, Happy New Year” as he kisses her on the head. In the living room Jon actually watches TV with Jema and they both genuinely laugh. Chase even puts his phone down and joins in. For hours they all laugh.
Right at nine Jon opens the door, again right as Helen is about to ring the doorbell and says “hey, Helen, the kids are just getting their stuff, they’ll be right out.”
As Jema comes running over screaming “MOMMY, look at the lantern I made, that’s all of us, me, Chase, daddy, you, and George. I made another one for daddy too, he said he likes it do you? Do you?”
Helen smiles and says, “it’s beautiful honey” She then looks up at Jon and says, “thanks Jon, Happy New Year.”
Jon smiles and says, “Happy New Year Helen!” He then leans over and gives Jema a big hug and kiss saying, “Happy New Year Jema, I love you.’
Jema hugs him back saying “Happy New Year daddy, I love you too.”
Jon stands up, gives Chase a side hug and says, “Happy New Year buddy.”
Chase gives his dad a full hug and says, “I love you dad, Happy New Year.” As a tear drips form Jon’s eye, and he smiles saying “I love you too buddy!”
After they all leave Jon goes into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of vodka and a glass, before he pours it though he looks over at all those pictures on his fridge, smiling. Then he looks back at the bottle, puts it away and says to himself “nah, better idea” as he grabs the pictures off the fridge and runs to his car. On the way he stops by an arts and crafts store and buys some stuff. He works in his car for a few minutes, before driving to the park. He parallel parks right outside the parking lot and slowly walks to the park. Standing in the back by the tent. Helen sees him as her smile becomes a look of worry as she marches over to him. He says “hey Helen I’m not here to cause a scene, I know you didn’t want me here, and I understand, I wouldn't want me here either. You were right, God Helen you were right about everything, you have no idea how right you were. I just wanted to wish you and George a Happy New Year and give you a wedding present” as he hands Helen a gift bag, and continues “now I’ll go, have a good wedding and a wonderful life.”
Helen is shocked as Jon walks away, she says “wait Jon, I don't know what has come over you, but I am happy to see it, and if you’d like you can stay for the ceremony.”
Jon smiles and says “thanks Helen, but this is your day, and I want it to be your best day” as he waves and continues to the beach. Helen looks inside the gift bag and sees a photo album titled to the good times. She looks through it and cries a little bit seeing all the photos. When she gets to the end, she sees another photo album titled now go make some more. And opens it to see that it is blank. She smiles and cries tears of joy, whispering “thanks Jon.”
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