A Christmas Story; The Truest True Meaning of Christmas

Early one Christmas Eve morning, Leo woke up to his ringing phone. He answered in a groggy voice “hello”.

“Hi Leo, it’s your mother. Hope you are doing well.”

Leo started to say “ah, ya, I”-

Before his mother interrupted “sorry, I don’t have much time. Just wanted to let you know, your uncle can’t do Christmas at his house this year, so we decided to take you up on your offer to host after all. See you tomorrow morning. Merry Christmas!”

Leo was shocked as he said “what? I made that offer weeks ago! And you said no. Now you say yes, giving me one day? Hello? Hello?” But the line was already dead. He hung up, mumbling to himself “oh, god damn it” as he rubbed his eyes and looked around at his messy, undecorated apartment. He got up and dressed before heading out to find some traditional Christmas decorations. He walked around town, but nearly every shop was closed. And the few that weren't, were completely out of Christmas decorations and even religious symbols. He walked around, wondering how to impress his very traditional family, when all the shops in town were out or closed. Imagining his disappointed family, scolding him for a disappointing Christmas, he began to feel like a failure. Until he looked up and noticed a shop decked out in red, green and blue lights with a painted sign reading;

365

X-

MAS

SHOP

24/7

He was surprised, as he had lived in this town for nearly a decade and had never noticed this shop. Right in the middle of main street. He shrugged and opened the door as the bells below the green wreath rang.

Inside did not look like the outside. Looking more like a toy and knickknack shop than a Christmas one. Mini statues and figurines piled up on shelves, by toys of Doctor Who, including Daleks, Cybermen, K-9, and even a full-size blue police public call box. Leo was more puzzled when suddenly a man seemingly out of nowhere made him jump as the man announced loudly “HELLO! My name is Sinter Klaas. What’s yours? As he stuck out his hand. Leo shook it saying “Leo, now what is this place?”

Sinter announced loudly again “WHY THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS SHOP OF COURSE! THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE DAYS A YEAR, TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY!” This puzzled Leo even more as he laughed and said, “this doesn’t look like a Christmas shop. And you can’t have Christmas every day.”

“Oh! Why not?” Sinter wondered.

“Because, well, it wouldn’t be special if it was every day. And I mean, like, nothing in here is Christmasy. Like you just got a bunch a sci-fi stuff, like is that an actual TARDIS? More like a Whovian shop. And as awesome as that is, it’s not Christmas”. Sinter stood there, as he stroked his chin, before he shook his head saying “no!” As he walked away.

This confused Leo as he followed him saying “what? What do you mean no?”

“I mean you are wrong. Christmas is a feeling, a good warm, and nice feeling. And I would assert it is better if you feel that every day. And who embodies that feeling better than our favorite heroes, like the Doctor?”

Leo said “well sure. But it’s not tradition.”

“Not yet” Sinter said with a smile. Before continuing "now go explore, look in that TARDIS, you know you want to. And besides maybe it can teach you a thing or two about tradition. It is real, as you so astutely noticed.” He then walked into the back as Leo kept eyeing that TARDIS. He walked over to it and opened the door. His mouth hung open as he thought what kind of optical illusion is this? As he walked across a long ramp inside. The door slammed shut, making him jump, before hearing the classic VWORP, VWORP, VWORP!

    As the VWORP sound finally ceases with a thump, knocking Leo to the ground. He gets up and reads ANCIENT ROME on the control panel. He laughs as he walks to the door and opens it saying, “that’s a nice trick”- As he looked outside at the sight of men and women eating and drinking, while children were children being Merry. Surrounded by rustic concrete pillars towering high into the clear dark sky, where the rings of Saturn were almost visible. Leo was Shocked, wondering to himself “what is this?”

“SATURNILIA” a man in white answers, as he offers Leo a bird leg and a cup of something. Leo smiles, takes the offerings and says “oh, ok. Thanks” as he takes a drink and immediately spits it out with a “DAMN! That burns!”

The man laughs and says “yup, my strongest wine yet. Enjoy” as he walks away. Leo walks around nibbling at the bird leg and sipping the ale. Hearing the laughter of the children as they dance in a circle around a giant evergreen tree. It makes him smile. His smile expands as he sees people exchanging warm greetings, gifts, and hugs. As his eyes wander to a card game. He decides to join it. He plays and even wins a few hands. He and the rest of the players laugh as he shovels in his winnings. Thinking this is nice, but it’s not Christmas. He hears Sinter’s voice in his head “are you sure?” As he quickly turns around and notices him. Almost ten feet away, walking into a forest. He gets up from the table, leaving his winnings. As the others look confused, He runs after Sinter yelling “hey wait what is this?” In the forest he sees, no one or nothing but darkness. As he struggles to look around, suddenly the dark forest becomes engulfed in bright yellow light. He looks up to see shooting stars, brighter than he thought they could be. He forgets all about Sinter and the TARDIS for a moment as he just smiles and wishes silently on those shooting stars for the perfect Christmas. Suddenly he snaps out of it as he hears the classic VWORP of the TARDIS once again and becomes serious as he rushes to it saying “no, no, don’t leave me here!”

    Making it inside the TARDIS right as the doors close and it dematerializes. The VWORP sound continues for a long while before once again ending with a THUMP. Nervously walking outside, he finds himself in a forest with a bonfire burns a big men in fur pelts dance around it. Drinking from horns, hollering “YULE!” With cheer. Leo walked towards the dancing group of men and women with fascination. He sat on a log and a large man in pelts sat next to him holding two horns, filled to the brim with what smelt of strong mead. The large man smiled, handed Leo one of the horns. Leo took the horn and they tapped them together. The man then said “Mac?” With a curious face

Leo replied “Leo”

Mac looked confused for a moment. Before he smiled, stood up and yelled “LEO!” Everyone else cheered as Mac rejoined the dancing, and Leo continued to sit. He took a sip, experiencing a near instant head rush. Soon a woman dancing with Mac approached the dizzy Leo. Smiling flirtatiously, as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the circle. Hesitant, he initially said “no, no” with a smile. But the women kept pulling him softly while dancing suggestively. Finally getting Leo to join the circle and dance with her and Mac. Mac again screamed “LEO!” To cheers. Leo smiled, blushed, and slowly but surely got more into the dancing.

After a while the woman and Mac guided Leo into a tent. Nervous but excited Leo embraced their embrace. They hugged each other, rubbed each other's shoulders and chests, as they all kissed. Soon clothes fell off and the woman fell to the ground with Leo on top of her. Mac rubbed Leo’s shoulders from behind him as he thrust and Leo moaned as he thrust and the woman moaned. After a little while Leo lay between Mac and the woman, as they slept. Leo thought about how fun it was. But also, how disappointed his family would be. “Fun but not very Christian" he mumbled to himself as he got up and went outside. The music was still loud, and the people still dancing as they hung strings around an evergreen tree. Leo approached it as a child pulled his shirt. He looked down at the child, who held a string up to him with a smile. Leo smiled back as he took the string and hung it on the tree. Mac now wide awake behind him screamed yet again “LEO!” As the dancing continued. While dancing and finally beginning to enjoy himself he noticed a man outside of the circle wink at him with a smile, before he turned and walked deeper into the woods. Leo hollered “wait! “Sinter!” As he ran. Before he got to him though he heard that very familiar VWORP! Stopping in his tracks and almost falling over as he quickly turned around and ran back to the TARDIS.

    Landing with yet another Thump. Leo got up and wondered what was going on? Was he dreaming? Did he pass out in the shop? Maybe in a coma? His thoughts got more extreme as he wandered to the doors of the TARDIS. He opened them to the sight of cheering men and women wearing old and shredded rags, drinking and playing music. He smiled and thought I may as well enjoy this dream or coma or whatever as he walked over to join what appeared to be an innocent street parade. In the group he was immediately handed a drink. Then another. And yet another. In such quick succession he had no time to thank the people. He just chugged the drinks. Not as harsh as the man in white’s wine, nor as strong as Mac’s mead. But after three or four he was starting to feel that head rush again. He smiled as he joined the dancing of the peasants. Out of nowhere people surrounded him, hoisted him on their shoulders, put a crown of thorns on his head and hollered “LORD OF MISRULE!” As they carried him up a hill to a large fancy mansion. The door opened before the crowd even made it there, and some well-dressed women threw out jars of what looked like figgy pudding. The crowd cheered some more as they picked up the jars and began eating as they marched to the next mansion. Leo was enjoying this, though was still confused. The next mansion was even larger and fancier. The crowd approached the door, knocking hard with determination and demanding looks on their faces. A snazzy man in a black suit and top hat, cracked the door open, shook his head, and closed it. The crowd instantly became an enraged mob as they stopped eating their figgy pudding and began instead throwing it at the mansion. Leo became more confused as he was put on the ground, and the mob continued throwing figgy pudding at the mansion. “Are they pudding-ing a house?” Leo asked himself as he laughed, took one more bite of the figgy pudding, and chucked the jar at the mansion. The mob continued this as they cheered angrily. Leo laughed, he was kind of enjoying himself, while feeling conflicted. This was not Christmas, this was violence. Or was it both? Christmas violence perhaps? He wondered, as he threw another jar. After that he looked behind him and saw a familiar shopkeeper throw a jar then walk to an ally. He turned around, trying to push through the crowd, while his yells of “SINTER” were drowned out by the angry chants of the mob. He barely made it any distance at all when he began to VWORP! Once again as he pushed harder and harder through the mob, barreling through people to the TARDIS.

    Making it through the doors, just in the nick of time, right as they closed. The VWORP got louder, as the TARDIS dematerialized again. After another rough landing, and thump. Leo got up once again, wondering where he was now? He stepped outside and saw vacant cobblestone streets. Only a few people in black and white attire walked along them. Leo tried to talk to them as he rushed over saying “hey, I, do you”- The people acted as though they did not hear him, and just began walking faster. Leo looked over and saw people walking outside of a tall brick building with a bell tower and crucifix on it. On the steps a man in black with a white collar shook hands with the people as they exited the building. “Ok a church, now that’s more like it” he mumbled to himself as he looked around some more and noticed a tall evergreen tree. Plain like all the rest of the buildings. This was confusing to Leo, as he walked over to the tree, he thought, a church, that makes sense. But no decorations or anything? That’s weird. Standing in front of the tree he looked up, and it reminded him of the tree he had decorated with Mac and the others. He smiled as he walked over to it. Feeling a small pebble on his foot he looked down and next to it was a light golden string. He bent over, picked it up, smiled, tied it in a loop, and hung it on the evergreen tree. Suddenly the man by the church yelled “HEY!” he looked back to see the priest with a disgusted face walking briskly over to him.

As Leo stood there, confused. The priest approached saying “what are you doing?” Leo still more confused, looked at the tree, then back at the priest, answering “just decorating a little bit.”

“That is what I thought. Decorating for your pagan debauchery.”

Leo, now really confused, said “what? Pagan debauchery? No! It’s Christmas, the birthday of Christ.”

The Priest yelled “BLASPHEMER! Come with me” as he grabbed Leo’s arm hard and pulled him forcefully into the church. In the church the Priest threw him onto a pew and said “now, pay up” as he held his hand out.

Leo said “Huh? What?”

“Ten shillings, for your vandalism” the priest responded.

Leo wondered “Vandalism? No. I was just decorating for”- 

“FINE, decorating or whatever you pagan devil worshippers call it. Just pay the fine” The priest interrupted. Leo looked confused, as the priest's face became more and more demanding. Leo shook his head in confusion as he reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet He opened it, pulled out a few dollar bills and handed them to the priest. Who became enraged as he looked at them, threw them on the ground and yelled “SHIILINGS LAD! NOT JUST PAPER!” Leo becoming more shocked with every passing moment muttered “but, but that’s all I have.”

“You have no shillings?” The priest asked angrily.

Leo, still shocked, but becoming angry himself, stood up yelling “NO, NO, WHAT THE HELL EVEN IS A SHILLING?”

The Priest slapped him back down as he said “DO NOT USE SUCH VULGAR LANGUAGE IN THE LORD’S HOUSE. I must take you to the sheriff, he will decide what to do with you.” The Priest pulled Leo up again, as the back door of the church cracked open, and he saw Sinter sneaking in, putting a finger over his mouth as if to say shh. He crouched and snuck to the podium and hung a wreath on it. The bells on the wreath rang and the Priest turned around saying “HUH?” As he saw Sinter rushing out the back and yelled “IN THE LORD’S HOUSE! NO! NO! HOW DARE YOU! COME BACK HERE!” He dropped Leo to chase after Sinter. After a moment of processing all of these confusing events. Leo thought, what am I still doing here? As he got up and walked out of the Church. Outside he heard the church bells ring, followed by the TARDIS VWORP, and began to run.

    In the TARDIS, this time with a few seconds to spare. The doors slammed shut and the VWORP got louder once again. Another Thump later and Leo walked outside seeing similar cobblestone streets. But with a very different vibe. People smiling and singing classic Christmas Carols. Tables were set up where well-dressed people served poorly dressed people bowls of soup, and figgy pudding. The street was crowded with colorfully dressed individuals, smiling around a large evergreen tree. Decked out with glass ornaments and twinkling lights, as children tied strings around it. A large church with glass figurines of Mary and Joseph, over a small baby Jesus in a manger. A smiling, happy Priest stood on the steps saying "today we celebrate the birth of our savior. And our Lord’s love for us. MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Leo was confused for a moment, before he looked around again. he saw the gift exchanges of Saturnalia, the tree of Yule, the charity of Misrule, the Priests of Puritan America altogether. Merged, to make the perfect Christmas. He finally began to understand. “All of these traditions merged to make what we see as Christmas today. Being told that it’s always been that way. And that's just how it’s done. But it hasn’t always been that way. And it can be done a different way” he says to himself, looking at all of the people. He sees Sinter and starts to run to him, but then stops himself, smiles and gives him a two-finger salute. Sinter does the same as they both head off to join the festivities. He hangs strings on the tree, eats figgy pudding, and sings carols long into the night. He then announces, “LET US ALL EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY!” as the crowd cheers, and a small tear drips from his eye. He then hears it again. VWORP, VWORP! This time though, he doesn’t want to leave. He almost considers just letting it go. Before he thinks about his family, mumbles to himself “no! They deserve a Christmas too, and I’m gonna make it one hell of a Christmas!” As he smiles and strolls to the TARDIS!

This time the landing is smooth as he emerges from the doors, yelling “SINTER KLASS! SINTER KLASS!”

Sinter comes out from the back and says, “yes? What is it?”

Leo runs to him, hugs him and says, “Merry Christmas! Now I would like to buy everything in your shop!”

Sinter smiles as he goes behind a desk, presses a few keys on a cash register and says “ok, that will be one dollar.”

Leo, happy, but now surprised, asked “What? One dollar? You can’t turn a profit on that.”

Sinter replies with a smirk “but I can turn a party into a Christmas party on that!" Leo doesn’t know what to say, as he stands silently shocked for a moment, before he smiles and says, "Merry Christmas” takes out his wallet, hands Sinter a five-dollar bill and says, “keep the change, keep spreading Christmas!”

“Oki Dokey, now I will have this delivered to your house and set up just how you want it by tomorrow.”

Leo, too excited to understand how that doesn’t make sense right away, just says “AWESOME!” As he heads out the door of the shop. Looking towards the street, he takes a breath of the crisp air. Before stopping and realizing, wait, I didn't tell him how I wanted it set up or where I live. He turns to go back in, only to literally hit a wall. Dumbfounded, that the shop is gone.

Confused and slightly worried, he walks home with all sorts of wonderful and horrible thoughts going through his mind. Until he unlocks his apartment door, and what he sees he almost cannot comprehend. The whole place decked out with classic and new Christmas decorations. Red, blue and green lights. Figurines of Doctor Who sprawled around the full-size TARDIS, with a small tree atop it and a Weeping Angel tree topper. He smiles as he lays down on his couch and sleeps, literally dreaming of candy canes and rainbows.

    Bright and early Christmas morning, Leo wakes up. His face still smiling as he lays a tablecloth along the table, puts a pitcher of eggnog in the center surrounded by place settings of fine China plates and red ceramic mugs. He then hears a knock on his door, and yells “be right there” as he grabs a remote, points it at the stereo, presses a button, and the twelve days of Christmas starts playing. At the door, he looks over his now perfectly decorated apartment, smiles, turns to the door and opens it saying, “hi mom, Merry Christmas!” He hugs his mom as she walks in followed by his dad, and more extended family carrying dishes of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. Seeing the place his mom looks disappointed but forces a smile and says somewhat passive aggressively “wow you sure cleaned up. But I thought there would be more decorations.”

Leo ignores the passive aggressive tone and says “Are you kidding? Look at all these decorations” as he waves his arms to all the Whovian memorabilia. His mother laughs nervously and says “ya, sure, but they’re not very Christmasy are they?”

“Sure, they are, I mean after all, who embodies the warmth and good tidings of Christmas more than the Doctor?” Leo asks. His mom doesn’t answer and just sits down at the table. As his dad makes a beeline for the coffee table saying, “oh cards! What do you guys say? Wanna play a few hands?”

Leo says, “like Saturnalia, hell ya!” This confuses the rest of his family for a moment before they all laugh and say, “hell ya" and sit down on the couch, as his father deals the cards saying “ok, seven card no peek ‘em.” They all play and laugh, except his mom. She just sits at the table drinking eggnog, looking let down.

Later that night as the music plays, when suddenly last Christmas comes on and Leo’s father turns to his mother and says, “may I have this dance?” His mother, still disappointed, says, “oh, no, I don’t know”- As his father lightly pulls her up and starts dancing, singing it to her softly. Soon the rest of the family joins in, singing and dancing along. Before long, his mother begins to smile and move to her husband's lead. After the impromptu musical moment, Leo heads to the kitchen, as his family sits around the table. He emerges, pushing a silver tray cart with a large juicy turkey on it, surrounded by thick slices of honey roasted ham, and stuffing. He says “bon appetite” as they all laugh and serve themselves some turkey and ham. His mother’s smile begins growing, though she still looks a little disappointed. Then she takes a bite of the turkey, and her eyes widen as she says “oh my! This is the best turkey I’ve ever had. What is your secret Leo?”

Leo smiles and says, “about an hour in some boiling oil” with a laugh. After the meal Leo reaches below the cart and grabs some pumpkin pie, serving everyone a piece, before sitting. Right before they dig in though Leo jumps up and says, “oh I almost forgot” reaches below the cart again and reveals a small silver dish with a lid, he sets it in the middle of the table, removes the lid, as everyone leans in to get a good look at it. Leo says “figgy pudding!” His family recoils, going “ahh!” One of his cousins says, “nobody likes figgy pudding” Leo looks at him and says, “oh c’mon” then turns to his mom winking “it’s tradition.” His mom smiles bigger than she had the whole night, takes his hand and says, “Merry Christmas Leo!”

    After a little more singing, dancing, and card playing, where his mother even wins a game of seven card no peek ‘em. Causing the whole family to scream “WHOA!” as his mother laughs, asking, “what? Did I win?” followed by more laughter. After that it gets late and Leo walks his family down to the street. He waves goodbye to his extended family as they say to each other “Merry Christmas!” Leo hugs his dad who says, “I’ll get you next time.”

Leo responds with a laugh “anytime dad, seven card no peek ‘em’s my game.” His dad laughs and says, “Merry Christmas Leo”.

He responds, “Merry Christmas dad.”As his dad runs to catch up with the rest of the family. Leaving just Leo and his mom. Leo turns to her and says, "look mom, I know that”-

His mom interrupts him saying “you know it isn’t what I would have done, but I did have fun, so thank you. And Merry Christmas I love you Leo” as she hugs him. He hugs her back and says, “I love you too mom, I’m glad you had fun, and Merry Christmas.” After a long hug his mom walks away waving and smiling. Leo waves and smiles for a bit after his family is out of sight. Just about to head back inside he sees Sinter across the street, smiles, gives him another two-finger salute and whispers “Merry Christmas Sinter Klass.” He then hears Sinter’s voice whisper in his head “Merry Christmas Leo.” His face still bright and smiling, he heads back inside. Finally getting it. Finally understanding that the truest true meaning of Christmas, is, well, whatever the fuck we want it to be!

THE END!!!